And Seven Whisky Sours Later...
So I'm breaking a rule, and writing from work. I don't normally do this, but I really don't want to talk about this with Susan around.
Doesn't sound good, does it? Well, it goes with the headache I had yesterday. Here's what happened:
Saturday night, Susan and I went out with her old college friend, Kara, and her husband, Craig. I don't know why I agreed to it. Maybe because Susan was driving. She and Kara stayed sober. Me and Craig each drank alone. It was quite the group dynamic.
Now, I don't like either Kara or Craig, and the combination of the two is even worse. I understand why Susan wants to stand by her friend (they've known each other for 5 years), but honestly, I have never in my life seen two people less suited for each other.
You see, Kara's not too bright. She's married to the guy who knocked her up in her senior of college, and she's working at a low-level phone call center job with lousy pay and no future, and her husband treats her like a piece of meat. About two years ago, they bought a house, and then he went out of state to a graduate program. Leaving her with a toddler and new house, and all of the daycare bills. I will grant that he did take care of the mortgage for her.
But still, those two are painful to watch, and it's even more painful to watch Susan banter with her about all the fun things they did in college, and to see how poor Kara has nothing left in her life but stories of the glory days. And Susan just feeds into it.
That lasted through my first 3 whisky sours, and then we left the bar to go to dinner. We went to a seafood place that's not my favorite, but they have a good bar, and we ordered dinner. And then the night got seriously bad.
After watching Craig knock down every one of Kara's jokes, and remind her how he'd gotten a post-grad degree just to get the promotion at his work (he's in finance; I don't know the details), and then remind her how the house decisions are his, my sixth whisky sour took advantage of his bathroom trip to ask Kara why she stays with him.
I have never seen Susan look quite so angry. Kara just stared at her plate. When Craig came back, there wasn't much conversation. "Whisky sour number seven, please, and no, I'm not driving. I might be walking home."
When Susan and I got home, there was a conversation. I won't go into the details, but I slept on the couch that night. And last night.
So, did I insult Kara, and Susan, as badly as she says I did? Is it insulting to speak the truth? Or is this just another of those cases where the truth is in the eye of the beholder?
Doesn't sound good, does it? Well, it goes with the headache I had yesterday. Here's what happened:
Saturday night, Susan and I went out with her old college friend, Kara, and her husband, Craig. I don't know why I agreed to it. Maybe because Susan was driving. She and Kara stayed sober. Me and Craig each drank alone. It was quite the group dynamic.
Now, I don't like either Kara or Craig, and the combination of the two is even worse. I understand why Susan wants to stand by her friend (they've known each other for 5 years), but honestly, I have never in my life seen two people less suited for each other.
You see, Kara's not too bright. She's married to the guy who knocked her up in her senior of college, and she's working at a low-level phone call center job with lousy pay and no future, and her husband treats her like a piece of meat. About two years ago, they bought a house, and then he went out of state to a graduate program. Leaving her with a toddler and new house, and all of the daycare bills. I will grant that he did take care of the mortgage for her.
But still, those two are painful to watch, and it's even more painful to watch Susan banter with her about all the fun things they did in college, and to see how poor Kara has nothing left in her life but stories of the glory days. And Susan just feeds into it.
That lasted through my first 3 whisky sours, and then we left the bar to go to dinner. We went to a seafood place that's not my favorite, but they have a good bar, and we ordered dinner. And then the night got seriously bad.
After watching Craig knock down every one of Kara's jokes, and remind her how he'd gotten a post-grad degree just to get the promotion at his work (he's in finance; I don't know the details), and then remind her how the house decisions are his, my sixth whisky sour took advantage of his bathroom trip to ask Kara why she stays with him.
I have never seen Susan look quite so angry. Kara just stared at her plate. When Craig came back, there wasn't much conversation. "Whisky sour number seven, please, and no, I'm not driving. I might be walking home."
When Susan and I got home, there was a conversation. I won't go into the details, but I slept on the couch that night. And last night.
So, did I insult Kara, and Susan, as badly as she says I did? Is it insulting to speak the truth? Or is this just another of those cases where the truth is in the eye of the beholder?
posted by carl r at
10:15 AM
9 Comments:
You trod heavily upon your pork, no doubt of it. You're a young man and you haven't yet learned all the nuances of "getting by."
Carl, maybe it wasn't a good idea to throw that in the woman's face like you did.
If it was me, I'd plead "the wine was in, the wit was out" and make peace with your Lady as quickly as you can.
That's an old man's perspective but I've been around a long time and learned some things the hard way.
no, i would have done the same thing. it's an insult to pretend that everything is okay. as a true friend, you speak about because you care. now i can understand susan being upset with you because it obviously embarrassed kara to have you be the one to say it. but it should have been said long before. you did nothing wrong. the girl needs help.
You were drinking. And yes that is an excuse. I think that you said what everyone else (including Kara) were probably thinking but didn't have the balls to say out loud. I think Susan is mad at you because she probably feels you didn't really have any place to say that since she is her friend and not yours. A territorial thing perhaps. I don't know. I salute you for being bold enough to say something though. We need more people like you around who actually speaks the truth then try to play it down or ignore it.
Lord, have mercy. Maybe that's why I tend to stay away from people. I'd as soon not have my friends telling me my faults, I'm all too well aware of them as it is.
I like Carl, I'm not disparaging him. But was it worth "being truthful" in this case. It made that woman feel badly, it upset Susan, it caused stress in their relationship, and what good came of it?
Of course, I'm ignoring the axiom that says "arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, you're still retarded."
Hey, if you can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen....I'm sure that she knows she's married to an ass-hole...but I really don't see the harm in what you said. Why make a big deal out of it? Maybe your girlfriend feels bad for her friend and wishes SHE could have said that, if she hasn't already.
I think you're an ok guy, Carl, and I don't fault you one bit. she needs to get rid of him...maybe she will open her eyes and see the light, huh?
Carl, how do you get all these good looking young women on your blog?
Whatever you've got, you need to bottle it and put it on the market.
hey carl, it's sincerelykate. moved blogs so please email me at sincerelykate1@hotmail.com if you'd like an invite to the new one. thanks! :)
Hi, thanks for all the advice.
New post is coming up.
Carl,
Knowing me, I would have said it, much sooner, without drinking. I've done it before with my best friends husbands who is the worse ass I have ever met in my life, and I've even said it to his face. Yea, she finally divorced him, but I see NOTHING wrong with what you said, AT ALL!
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