Cleaning Up
Yesterday, I went over to my sister's place, and the two of us cleaned out my brother's stuff. The clothing went to a thrift store, the 50 bucks in cash and change went to a food bank, and everything else had to be sorted and distributed. It was a sad task.
For the few years, since his divorce, he'd been living in our sister's basement, and when you live somewhere for a few years, you tend to accumulate stuff. My brother was no exception. And, of course, there was all of his stuff from before his life turned to crap.
Some of the mementos we set aside for his daughter. She's a bit angry right now, and I don't know if she'll ever want them, but when she gets older, I think she'll appreciate it. This pile includes things like his old signet ring, his wedding ring that I can't believe he kept, his high school and college diplomas, his old trumpet, various keepsakes and souvenirs he'd collected over the years, and a small album of photos of Dana, as a baby, with my brother, or as she went through school. He was a non-custodial parent, which probably doesn't sound as bad it must have been, but he kept those pictures, and he kept them updated. We kept the album for her, too.
My sister took a couple of his old sweatshirts. I took some books and a chess set. There really wasn't much else. Most of the books went to a used book store, and after that we just had to clean up the mess, wash the dirty laundry, throw away the junk mail, and sort out the bills.
Some of those, we'll be able to pay from what's left of his bank account: cell phone and his share of my sister's utilities. The credit card bills ($1200! Who the f*** gave that nimrod $1200 worth of credit cards!) I'm not sure what we'll do with. I guess we'll contact the card issuers, and let them know that the debtor is deceased, with no estate. A bad write-off, I guess.
I wonder if he hoped that his life would be worth more than that?
Anyway, it's very late on Sunday night, or very early on Monday morning, depending on your point of view, and I have to go to work in the morning. Susan's awake, and she's calling me. She's been a rock through all of this, and really helped me, and my sister, and our parents to get through it. She took the calls from the police, and drove us to the county morgue to "identify the body," and them got my brother's car out of impound and contacted a funeral home. My mom wants me to marry her.
I'm gonna go now. I'll blog more later.
For the few years, since his divorce, he'd been living in our sister's basement, and when you live somewhere for a few years, you tend to accumulate stuff. My brother was no exception. And, of course, there was all of his stuff from before his life turned to crap.
Some of the mementos we set aside for his daughter. She's a bit angry right now, and I don't know if she'll ever want them, but when she gets older, I think she'll appreciate it. This pile includes things like his old signet ring, his wedding ring that I can't believe he kept, his high school and college diplomas, his old trumpet, various keepsakes and souvenirs he'd collected over the years, and a small album of photos of Dana, as a baby, with my brother, or as she went through school. He was a non-custodial parent, which probably doesn't sound as bad it must have been, but he kept those pictures, and he kept them updated. We kept the album for her, too.
My sister took a couple of his old sweatshirts. I took some books and a chess set. There really wasn't much else. Most of the books went to a used book store, and after that we just had to clean up the mess, wash the dirty laundry, throw away the junk mail, and sort out the bills.
Some of those, we'll be able to pay from what's left of his bank account: cell phone and his share of my sister's utilities. The credit card bills ($1200! Who the f*** gave that nimrod $1200 worth of credit cards!) I'm not sure what we'll do with. I guess we'll contact the card issuers, and let them know that the debtor is deceased, with no estate. A bad write-off, I guess.
I wonder if he hoped that his life would be worth more than that?
Anyway, it's very late on Sunday night, or very early on Monday morning, depending on your point of view, and I have to go to work in the morning. Susan's awake, and she's calling me. She's been a rock through all of this, and really helped me, and my sister, and our parents to get through it. She took the calls from the police, and drove us to the county morgue to "identify the body," and them got my brother's car out of impound and contacted a funeral home. My mom wants me to marry her.
I'm gonna go now. I'll blog more later.
posted by carl r at
1:59 AM
8 Comments:
Carl, its a daunting task, hopefully the logistics will pass enough for the healing to begin. I'm glad you have Susan there beside you, she sounds solid!
This has to be the hardest part. I'm glad that you're not going through it alone.
Daunting is one way to put. And this is the hardest part. And it seems like it'll never end.
Honestly, I can't imagine doing this alone. My parents are sort of in shock; my sister and I have handling things.
oh Carl....my heart is aching for you and your family right now. How sad to have to go through your borhter's things. I'm glad that you kept those things for his daughter....ya, she might not want them right now. that;s understandable...but later?....she will cherish those few things from her father.
I'm thinking of you Carl....lots and lots....know that there is a complete stranger out there somewhere, who wishes you well.
ya, marry Susan.
aw good luck and keep the faith through all this~!
You're doing what has to be done. Nobody could do more.
Carl,
I talked to my boss, who knows this type of issue front and back. He says if your brother died without a will, the state will determine who has to pay his debts, and it will probably land on his parents and siblings. Then the credit card company can come after you, but not before. However, he said it would be worth buying an hour of an time from an attorney to lay this out and see if a letter from the attorney won't make the credit card people drop the issue altogether. He thinks it might. Sorry you have to deal with this.
Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. I really appreciate it.
Hermit:
It was very kind of you to check on that. Thanks very much.
I wish I'd known it before we sent off the checks, though!
Still, I think we'll just leave it all as-is. The money hit was a pain, but it doesn't put us in the poorhouse, and we all just want to finish up the matters and get on.
I just hope that my brother has found some peace finally.
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